Michael: (happy) Oh, and another fun thing. We, at the end of the night, are going to give the check to an actual group of Boy Scouts. Right, Toby? We're gonna-
Toby: Actually, I didn't think it was appropriate to invite children since it's, uh, you know. There's gambling and alcohol. (Michael's face falls) And it's in our dangerous warehouse. And it's a school night. And, you know, Hooters is catering. You know. Is that - is that enough? Should I keep going?
(Long pause as Michael stares at Toby)
Michael: Why are you the way that you are? Honestly, every time I try to do something fun or exciting, you make it...not that way. I hate...so much about the things that you choose to be.
(Toby is quiet)
Michael: Okay, you know what? I will not donate my winnings to Comic Relief. Since, apparently, it doesn't exist. I am going to donate to Afghanistanis with AIDS.
Jim: Whoa, I think you mean the Aid to Afghanistan.
Michael: No, I mean Afghanistanis with AIDS.
Michael: That's a dog.
Pam: No, that's afghan.
Michael: That's a shawl.
Dwight: Wait, canine AIDS?
Michael: No, humans with AIDS.
Creed: Who has AIDS?
Jim: Guys, the Afghanistanannis. (grins)
Michael: Okay, you know what? No, no. AIDS is not funny. Believe me, I have tried.